Beats, Rhymes & Life

This weekend, I checked out Hot Docs, an annual documentary fest in Toronto. I love docs, and have seen some good ones over the years. About a month ago, when Hot Docs released their line up, I was beyond excited to hear that they were screening Beats, Rhymes & Life: The Travels of A Tribe Called Quest. Those who know me are painfully aware of my affinity for Tribe (I say painfully, because chances are they've been forced to witness me rapping along to Scenario, and while I may know the words, my rhyming skills are questionable at best).

I heard A Tribe Called Quest for the first time when I was in high school, and the love affair began. Q-Tip's smooth voice, easily one of the most recognizable and unique, coupled with concious lyrics and a jazzy sound are just a few of the reasons that Tribe has so many devoted fans. They are innovators. Pioneers.

In university, I made friends with someone just because he was wearing a Tribe t-shirt. To this day, we continue to bond over hip hop. This documentary is definitely worth seeing. It sheds light on the trials an tribulations of Q-Tip and Phife, yes. But more importantly, it celebrates the music and the people behind it.  Good on Michael Rapaport for making this doc happen.

So, here's the thing about anxiety

Last night, for the first time in years, I had one of *those* anxiety attacks. This is the kind of attack that puts terror into your heart. As much rational talking to myself as I did, I couldn't find calm. I tried distraction. I tried telling myself I was okay. None of it worked. I just lay there, paralyzed with fear. Of course, today is a new day. The exhaustion has set in, and the fear has subsided, for the most part. But, as is par for the course with any bad anxiety attack, the self-doubt is creeping in. The 'what ifs?' are forming in my mind. Will this happen again? Is all of the progress I've made for naught? Is this a major set back? I like to think that I can learn from the past, and treat this as a minor blip, rather than letting the fears take grip.