Today

I looked at Google today and wondered why the special design, and then it dawned on me: Father's Day. It's a day I find myself either hyper aware of, or completely oblivious to. I lost my dad in 1997 - it's hard to believe that over a decade has gone by since that fateful November day. My dad's passing has coloured my life in so many ways. When I was a young kid, my dad was my best pal. We liked to play Trivial Pursuit and had a shared love of dessert. Looking back, my favourite times with my dad were spent eating Black Forest Cake in a patisserie in Kowloon while my mom shopped. As I got older, things got more complicated. I realized that my dad was human. He had been a hero in my eyes for such a long time, that when I saw that he was a mere regular person - and one with many flaws - it was a disappointment. My dad was an alcoholic. He battled depression. And he left my mom and I to be with another woman. He really wasn't the stuff that heroes are made of. My dad was the first man to break my heart. But still, I loved him, because as with all things in life it wasn't black and white. The older I have gotten, the more I believe I understand my dad. I wish that we'd gotten a chance to talk about things more. Instead, there was a vast gulf of silence between us leading up to his death. When I think of my dad, I see him as a regular guy, with flaws. And I miss that guy. While my dad was in no way perfect, he was really smart, and had a great sense of humour. He had a hearty appetite, and a love of food. I know we would have shared some great meals if he was still around. He also always had a lot of love for me. His actions didn't always show it, but as I reflect, I know that he was battling his own demons. So on this day, I band together with the other people in my life who have lost their dads. It's a day to remember.

Wear Sunscreen

I was so taken with this piece of writing when I first discovered it. I revisited today as I was trying to find a wise bit of spiritual advice to write in a card for my niece. I don't know that it's spiritual per se, but I think it hits the mark on the key things to try and remember as we navigate through this life. As I reread the words, I realized that Dakota isn't quite ready for them, but that I could use the reminder. I started to reflect on the part about friends. Certainly, as we get older, there are gaps; we're all in different careers, at different stages in our lives, dealing with different sets of problems. Sometimes, it is challenging to make the time and to bridge the gaps, but it is worth it. To me, my friends are an extension of my family and I am forever grateful for the kindness, generosity of spirit, and the laughs.

Written by Mary Schmich in 1997 and published in the Chicago Tribune, the essay that follows is titled, "Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young".

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

P.S. Write back

I love greeting cards. Ridiculously so. I have a box of cards that I won't send to anyone because I like them too much. I have two other boxes of cards to send to people, in part due to an annual card sale that I attend with a crew of like-minded greeting card lovers. It's a bit of madness that strikes us as we walk through the doors of the Paper E Clips warehouse, and start scavenging for our favourite card lines and styles. I am an absolute sucker for letterpress. One of my fave card lines is Mr. Boddington. These cards are seriously gorgeous! I've also been a long time lover of Koco New York. The quotes on these cards tend to be well-selected, and the accompanying art work, is just that: art. Because I love words, Quotable Cards are also a standout for me. And, for a bit of irreverence: junkmail.

I met three of my favourite girlfriends working at Athena, a store that sold greeting cards, posters and art prints. We bonded over crazy customer experiences (like the kid who started to pee on our carpet), and eventually, the trials and tribulations of our own lives. It's now been more than 15 years since we met, and we're still going strong. All of us continue to have a strong appreciation for cards, formed oh so many years ago as we excitedly opened new shipments. While we've stopped exchanging presents on special occasions, the cards continue to go strong.  And, I don't think I'm the only one who re-reads the messages within.

In a way, I think of a shared love for greeting cards as bringing some people who are very near and dear to my heart into my life as well. The one bright spot at my grandpa's funeral was re-connecting with my cousin (I never get this right, but our grandpas were brothers, and thus our moms are cousins) Trevor and his lovely wife Winnie. As we chatted, I asked them what they did, and it turned out that they were involved in selling and designing greeting cards! I knew we were collectively meant to be. Since that bleak day, we've continued to bond. It turns out our shared love of cards was just the beginning of our similarities. We love shopping marathons, children's books, and eating bacon with maple syrup (that's me and Trev - Win would not partake in such a weird thing). Winnie and Trevor (and their beautiful kids) came into my life during a truly bleak time. My grandpa, who was a truly bright light was gone, but fittingly he brought a younger generation of his family together.

While I can't imagine my life without Google (well, except for the first two decades, which were actually without Google), I sometimes bemoan the fact that e-mail has become the preferred mode of communication. E-mail just doesn't compare to a handwritten note. I for one look forward to checking the mail each day, hoping that amidst the bills, there will be a piece of personal mail.